Skip to main content

What a joke!

It's Sunday, and I'm being lazy. Time for some writerly humour....

Q. How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it nearly all the way, and one to give it a twist at the end.

A writer comes home and finds her house has burned down.
What happened?’ she asks her badly-singed husband.“It was awful,” he says. “I was cooking dinner when the phone rang and it was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the grill was on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything’s gone. I nearly didn’t make it out and the poor hamster...”
“Hang on, hang on,” The woman says. “My agent called?”

Q. How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.

If writers write, why don't fingers finge?

Ho, ho and thrice Ho. Never let it be said that I don't have a sense of humour.

(Okay, so I don't really get that last one, but there aren't many writing jokes out there, you know. I did my best).


Tom Foolery said…
Heard the one about the writer that wrote a novel using invisible ink, didn't realise until the final T was crossed :) TFX
SpiralSkies said…
Love the mystery writer one...
Faye said…
Agent joke tickled me--goes with the other line "but enough you. . ." We hate to admit it but that's how we actually feel. Needy!
Lane said…
lol. The agent one is just a little bit true ... isn't it:-)
Cait O'Connor said…
I hope you don't mind me calling by, I found you on TF's blog page I also work in a library and love writing.
I will call again.
I love the jokes!
david mcmahon said…
I do a spot of writing occasionally - so I enjoyed the one about the light bulb!!

Here in Australia we call 'em light globes ...
Faye said…
Hi again Karen. There's an award for you over at my place. Enjoy!
Leigh said…
A writer died and was allowed to visit both heaven and hell before deciding where she went.

In hell, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they typed, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“I don't like the look of this,” she said, and went up to see what heaven was like.

In heaven, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they typed, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“This can't be right,” she cried. “This is just as bad as hell!”

“No, this is much better,” one of the writers said. “Here, your work gets published.”
Nice one Leigh! Sadly, I'm still in Hell :o)

Faye - Thanks so much for the award, what a lovely start to Monday! In fact I'm off to display it right now...

David - Hi there! We've some (English) relatives visiting from Australia next month - it'll be interesting to see how much of the lingo they've picked up over the last two years :o)

Cait - Welcome! Nice to meet you. There should be an official 'librarian' greeting, but I can't think of one!!

Lane - Very true, I'm afraid...

Faye - Needy? Needy? Oh alright then, yes we are :o)

spiralskies - That was my favourite. I tried to make up one of my own but...couldn't :o(

tf - Look, I'm being incredibly thick here (just for a change) but I don't get it...not like me, honest, I'm normally quite quick on the uptake. Please tell me you made a spelling mistake or something?!
HelenMH said…
I love the light bulb one. And Leigh's!
Tom Foolery said…
Clarkey, now you can understamd why I set up a new photo blog "Sometimes the spoken word is misunderstood but images can often be seen from another angle". Now I must admit it was a homemade joke after a couple of glasses of wine.
Basically, I writer had just finished writing a novel in one take (is this possible?) he/she thought it was going to be a best seller. But when he/she wrote the final words with her pen discovered that the words he/she had written were all invisible to the naked eye.
Moral of the story don't comment on blogs with too much wine floating around in your system kills the brain cells. Sobering thought! :) TFX
A. Writer said…
Love these! Put a much needed smile on my face!
Debs said…
Loved your joke and Leigh's very funny.
KAREN said…
tf - thank Christ I'm not the only one who's brain is addled. I haven't got the excuse of wine sloshing around either... :o)

Popular posts from this blog

100th Post!

100 posts! This time last year I was a Blogging Virgin. Now I’m a bit of a slag. It’s become the highlight of my week, both reading yours and writing mine. Which means either:

a) I don’t get out much
b) I don’t get out much, or
c) I don’t get out much

(I think it's C)

This was my first ever post. Not a single comment did it receive. I dry-heaved into my hanky for an hour and considered leaving the country. Then I cottoned on to leaving comments in order to entice readers over.

Anticipating disappointment, outrage or (worse) apathy, I was pleasantly surprised to trap some lovely Readers in my cage of blathery nonsense. I nearly threw a Comments Party, but daren't push my luck.

It’s been a real journey, as they say on bad reality TV (is there any other sort?) On the way, I’ve been given some fantastic advice from you lot, as well as from a Real Published Author and more importantly I've learned that…

Mugs CAN live without kettles
The price of gravy changes with the wind
You can live i…

Q&A with Amanda Brittany

I'm thrilled to welcome Amanda Brittany to my blog today, to talk about her debut thriller Her Last Lie. 

It's been described as 'gripping with a shocking twist' and I can confirm that it is!

(It also has an amazing cover)

Which character in Her Last Lie would you like to meet?
Hi Karen, thank you for inviting me to your blog.
I suppose feisty Roxanne is the character I’d most like to meet. She’s so determined to get to the bottom of things, and appears to be a good friend to Isla.
There are definitely a couple of characters in the book I would hope never to meet.

I know the book has several settings, which did you enjoy writing the most?
I loved writing the second part of the book set in Abisko in Sweden. I visited Abisko a couple of years back, and it was great fun bringing the cold, bleak landscape to life, and describing the way The Northern Lights swoop across the night skies.
Are any of your characters based on people you know?
No, not at all, they all sprang from my imagi…

Guest post - Elise Chidley

Today I’m delighted to welcome author, Elise Chidley to my blog. Elise has written two wonderfully warm and witty novels, The Wrong Sort of Wife and Married with Baggage, and I absolutely loved them both. Intelligent and romantic, as well as funny, they’re peopled with characters you can’t help warming to.

Elise is giving away 2 free copies of The Wrong Sort of Wife and 2 copies of the American version, Your Roots are Showing. If you’d like to leave a comment below I’ll pick the winners at random on Sunday!

So, without further ado …

Elise, when did your writing career begin?

I’ve been writing for a living since my first job as features writer with a national women’s magazine in South Africa, but I started writing fiction after my third child was born. At that stage, I was telecommuting as a staff writer for a publisher of health care magazines, writing three feature stories a week. The pressure of these deadlines, coupled with looking after three small children, was just not sustainable. …