What a joke!



It's Sunday, and I'm being lazy. Time for some writerly humour....

Q. How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it nearly all the way, and one to give it a twist at the end.

A writer comes home and finds her house has burned down.
What happened?’ she asks her badly-singed husband.“It was awful,” he says. “I was cooking dinner when the phone rang and it was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the grill was on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything’s gone. I nearly didn’t make it out and the poor hamster...”
“Hang on, hang on,” The woman says. “My agent called?”

Q. How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.

If writers write, why don't fingers finge?

Ho, ho and thrice Ho. Never let it be said that I don't have a sense of humour.

(Okay, so I don't really get that last one, but there aren't many writing jokes out there, you know. I did my best).

Comments

Tom Foolery said…
Heard the one about the writer that wrote a novel using invisible ink, didn't realise until the final T was crossed :) TFX
SpiralSkies said…
Love the mystery writer one...
Faye said…
Agent joke tickled me--goes with the other line "but enough you. . ." We hate to admit it but that's how we actually feel. Needy!
Lane said…
lol. The agent one is just a little bit true ... isn't it:-)
Cait O'Connor said…
I hope you don't mind me calling by, I found you on TF's blog page I also work in a library and love writing.
I will call again.
I love the jokes!
david mcmahon said…
I do a spot of writing occasionally - so I enjoyed the one about the light bulb!!

Here in Australia we call 'em light globes ...
Faye said…
Hi again Karen. There's an award for you over at my place. Enjoy!
Leigh said…
A writer died and was allowed to visit both heaven and hell before deciding where she went.

In hell, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they typed, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“I don't like the look of this,” she said, and went up to see what heaven was like.

In heaven, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they typed, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“This can't be right,” she cried. “This is just as bad as hell!”

“No, this is much better,” one of the writers said. “Here, your work gets published.”
KAREN CLARKE said…
Nice one Leigh! Sadly, I'm still in Hell :o)

Faye - Thanks so much for the award, what a lovely start to Monday! In fact I'm off to display it right now...

David - Hi there! We've some (English) relatives visiting from Australia next month - it'll be interesting to see how much of the lingo they've picked up over the last two years :o)

Cait - Welcome! Nice to meet you. There should be an official 'librarian' greeting, but I can't think of one!!

Lane - Very true, I'm afraid...

Faye - Needy? Needy? Oh alright then, yes we are :o)

spiralskies - That was my favourite. I tried to make up one of my own but...couldn't :o(

tf - Look, I'm being incredibly thick here (just for a change) but I don't get it...not like me, honest, I'm normally quite quick on the uptake. Please tell me you made a spelling mistake or something?!
HelenMH said…
I love the light bulb one. And Leigh's!
Tom Foolery said…
Clarkey, now you can understamd why I set up a new photo blog "Sometimes the spoken word is misunderstood but images can often be seen from another angle". Now I must admit it was a homemade joke after a couple of glasses of wine.
.
Basically, I writer had just finished writing a novel in one take (is this possible?) he/she thought it was going to be a best seller. But when he/she wrote the final words with her pen discovered that the words he/she had written were all invisible to the naked eye.
.
Moral of the story don't comment on blogs with too much wine floating around in your system kills the brain cells. Sobering thought! :) TFX
A. Writer said…
Love these! Put a much needed smile on my face!
Debs said…
Loved your joke and Leigh's very funny.
KAREN said…
tf - thank Christ I'm not the only one who's brain is addled. I haven't got the excuse of wine sloshing around either... :o)