"Look at my lovely new collar. I'm a laydeee, you know."
We didn't realise, until we read the small print on our new doggy insurance policy last weekend, that it's illegal for your dog not to wear a collar and name tag in public. Gulp. Molly did have a lovely red collar when we rescued her four years ago, but being a (not very ladylike) creature, she soon rolled in something unmentionable and it was ruined. As she'd been chipped, we decided to let her go au naturel - a sort of doggy naturist, if you like. She's got a neck to be proud of, we reckoned. She's not too proud to show it off. It's never gonna wrinkle like...ahem...some I could mention. Plus, it would be sort of...freeing.
Anyway, once we'd been enlightened it was a case of sod that, let's get down to Dogz 'r' Us. You can be fined up to £5000 apparently.
She seems to have taken to it, anyway, and has come over all regal-looking. The only thing I'm not sure about is the colour. Call me old-fashioned (go on, I don't mind) but I've always thought pink and orange clashed somewhat. Like blue and green, which should never be seen - without something in-between. According to my gran. Or blue and green should never be seen, unless it's on a gypsy queen, depending on her mood.
Funny how these sayings stick in your mind.