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I AM a writer, goddammit!

Now that things are back on track in the DIY department (thank you for asking) it's time to get back to the important stuff. Having barely touched a keyboard in three days, I realised how much I missed writing. Typing? Whatever. Maybe I really am a writer after all, I thought and promptly came up with the following list. Well, not promptly. I had some serious cake-eating to catch up on, plus half a day's work at the library and some blog visits, but THEN I came up with the list.

You know you're a writer, when...

you see a story in every situation - even cleaning up dog poo (or draining radiators)

you're still in your jim-jams when the children are due home from school

your Google searches include words like 'how to join the circus' and 'arable farming'

you dream about writing

you check film credits to see who the writer was

you devour 'how-to-write' books like they're about to be banned

you always see the 'angle' in family dramas

in conversation, you swap adjectives for ones that sound more meaningful (ooh, look at those clouds...they're so fluffy, er, I mean, they look like balls of cotton wool scudding across a picture perfect sky..)

you call your husband 'Jed' by mistake. Jed's the central character in your novel (not mine, I hasten to add. I would never call a character Jed)

you automatically tune in to media news of lucky bitches ladies landing book deals

your catch-phrase is 'I must write that down'

you can't stop reading blogs by other writers (and feeling jealous that they're far more talented than you are)

you're deaf to children pleading with you to Get The Dinner On

you come over all peculiar at the sight of a lovely notebook

the sight of your favourite writing magazine snaps you out of a foul mood

you mentally edit and correct everything you read

the children think you love the computer more than them

you can't imagine not doing it. Which is the most important one, of course.

I'm sure there are many more, but I really MUST go and get the dinner on now.


HelenMH said…
You're right. I relate to all of those. And welcome back - so glad you've arisen from the DIY depths!
Maddie Moon said…
Brillian, Karen. I can relate to them all, especially the neglectful mother bit!
Lane said…
You are a writer goddammit!:-)

All sooo true and some a little worrying. Do you find yourself itching to edit signs in shops, menus, the local paper?

As for motherly neglect? An unburnt dinner is a cause for celebration in our house and I can't always blame the writing ... but I try:-)
Helen said…
Yup I can relate to them all too!
Cathy said…
Another who relates here!
Yvonne said…
So true! Love it.
Kerry said…
Nodding like a the Churchill dog through the whole list, "Oooh yes, yes, yes, yes...."

Thanks for the chuckle - v true and funny!
Milla said…
yes yes yes yes yes
and autograph signing, interviewing giving. Blush.
Tam said…
I'm nodding sagely at all points. My daughter thinks I neglect her. My emails at work are often edited at length for repetition. There's no hope for me.
Alis said…
My catch phrase isn't 'I must write that down' but 'can I steal that?' if somebody says something particularly memorable. But maybe I should write it down as well, because I have a memory not worthy of the name sieve and always forget...
Debs said…
What a brilliant list and a little disturbing to see them written down and nod at each one.

I love this writer's world we inhabit it's such fun, if you ignore the hungry, ranting children, that it.
OK. STOP! hitting that keyboard you're giving me a blinking headache. Rest your fingers, pack
your bikini you're going on a journey to the unknown.Yes,Clarkey you've been tagged. TFX
womagwriter said…
Ha! Very good, and very true.
Anna said…
oh yes, you are a writer...

and a rather witty one at that!

and yes, no Jed's, please! :)))
Faye said…
I endorse (sorry we're in political season in U.S.)several of your writerly cues Karen-- there's a story in everything, the next how to book will help me write THE GREAT MEMOIR, reading blogs for the good writing as well as curiosity about how people live and think.
KAREN said…
helenmh - It's good to be back! Mind you, it's not over yet...

maddie - Terrible isn't it? I tell them it'll be worth it when I'm published!

lane - I'll keep telling myself! I DO itch to edit signs etc. We were handed a leaflet by a policeman the other day, advising us not to leave items on display in our car and I immediately noticed they'd spelt a word wrong. I can't remember what it was now, which renders this comment rather pointless...

helen - cathy - yvonne - kerry : I'm clearly in good company :o)

milla - Autograph signing? Interview giving? I wish! Maybe one day (blinks modestly).

tam - I edit everything. Even my thoughts, sometimes!

alis - I have said that before, and I have to write things down straight away as well! Must be my age...

debs - Actually, my children are old enough to cook dinner for me!!

tommo - Alright, alright woman. I'm coming over. As for the bikini - those days are over, lady.

womagwriter - I forgot to mention buying womags for 'research' !

anna - Thank you, and no. Quite right. No Jeds. Or Zach's.

faye - Everything's research, when you think about it :o) That's my excuse anyway!

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