Skip to main content

I AM a writer, goddammit!

Now that things are back on track in the DIY department (thank you for asking) it's time to get back to the important stuff. Having barely touched a keyboard in three days, I realised how much I missed writing. Typing? Whatever. Maybe I really am a writer after all, I thought and promptly came up with the following list. Well, not promptly. I had some serious cake-eating to catch up on, plus half a day's work at the library and some blog visits, but THEN I came up with the list.

You know you're a writer, when...

you see a story in every situation - even cleaning up dog poo (or draining radiators)

you're still in your jim-jams when the children are due home from school

your Google searches include words like 'how to join the circus' and 'arable farming'

you dream about writing

you check film credits to see who the writer was

you devour 'how-to-write' books like they're about to be banned

you always see the 'angle' in family dramas

in conversation, you swap adjectives for ones that sound more meaningful (ooh, look at those clouds...they're so fluffy, er, I mean, they look like balls of cotton wool scudding across a picture perfect sky..)

you call your husband 'Jed' by mistake. Jed's the central character in your novel (not mine, I hasten to add. I would never call a character Jed)

you automatically tune in to media news of lucky bitches ladies landing book deals

your catch-phrase is 'I must write that down'

you can't stop reading blogs by other writers (and feeling jealous that they're far more talented than you are)

you're deaf to children pleading with you to Get The Dinner On

you come over all peculiar at the sight of a lovely notebook

the sight of your favourite writing magazine snaps you out of a foul mood

you mentally edit and correct everything you read

the children think you love the computer more than them

you can't imagine not doing it. Which is the most important one, of course.

I'm sure there are many more, but I really MUST go and get the dinner on now.


HelenMH said…
You're right. I relate to all of those. And welcome back - so glad you've arisen from the DIY depths!
Maddie Moon said…
Brillian, Karen. I can relate to them all, especially the neglectful mother bit!
Lane said…
You are a writer goddammit!:-)

All sooo true and some a little worrying. Do you find yourself itching to edit signs in shops, menus, the local paper?

As for motherly neglect? An unburnt dinner is a cause for celebration in our house and I can't always blame the writing ... but I try:-)
Helen said…
Yup I can relate to them all too!
Cathy said…
Another who relates here!
Yvonne said…
So true! Love it.
Kerry said…
Nodding like a the Churchill dog through the whole list, "Oooh yes, yes, yes, yes...."

Thanks for the chuckle - v true and funny!
Milla said…
yes yes yes yes yes
and autograph signing, interviewing giving. Blush.
Tam said…
I'm nodding sagely at all points. My daughter thinks I neglect her. My emails at work are often edited at length for repetition. There's no hope for me.
Alis said…
My catch phrase isn't 'I must write that down' but 'can I steal that?' if somebody says something particularly memorable. But maybe I should write it down as well, because I have a memory not worthy of the name sieve and always forget...
Debs said…
What a brilliant list and a little disturbing to see them written down and nod at each one.

I love this writer's world we inhabit it's such fun, if you ignore the hungry, ranting children, that it.
OK. STOP! hitting that keyboard you're giving me a blinking headache. Rest your fingers, pack
your bikini you're going on a journey to the unknown.Yes,Clarkey you've been tagged. TFX
womagwriter said…
Ha! Very good, and very true.
Anna said…
oh yes, you are a writer...

and a rather witty one at that!

and yes, no Jed's, please! :)))
Faye said…
I endorse (sorry we're in political season in U.S.)several of your writerly cues Karen-- there's a story in everything, the next how to book will help me write THE GREAT MEMOIR, reading blogs for the good writing as well as curiosity about how people live and think.
KAREN said…
helenmh - It's good to be back! Mind you, it's not over yet...

maddie - Terrible isn't it? I tell them it'll be worth it when I'm published!

lane - I'll keep telling myself! I DO itch to edit signs etc. We were handed a leaflet by a policeman the other day, advising us not to leave items on display in our car and I immediately noticed they'd spelt a word wrong. I can't remember what it was now, which renders this comment rather pointless...

helen - cathy - yvonne - kerry : I'm clearly in good company :o)

milla - Autograph signing? Interview giving? I wish! Maybe one day (blinks modestly).

tam - I edit everything. Even my thoughts, sometimes!

alis - I have said that before, and I have to write things down straight away as well! Must be my age...

debs - Actually, my children are old enough to cook dinner for me!!

tommo - Alright, alright woman. I'm coming over. As for the bikini - those days are over, lady.

womagwriter - I forgot to mention buying womags for 'research' !

anna - Thank you, and no. Quite right. No Jeds. Or Zach's.

faye - Everything's research, when you think about it :o) That's my excuse anyway!

Popular posts from this blog

100th Post!

100 posts! This time last year I was a Blogging Virgin. Now I’m a bit of a slag. It’s become the highlight of my week, both reading yours and writing mine. Which means either:

a) I don’t get out much
b) I don’t get out much, or
c) I don’t get out much

(I think it's C)

This was my first ever post. Not a single comment did it receive. I dry-heaved into my hanky for an hour and considered leaving the country. Then I cottoned on to leaving comments in order to entice readers over.

Anticipating disappointment, outrage or (worse) apathy, I was pleasantly surprised to trap some lovely Readers in my cage of blathery nonsense. I nearly threw a Comments Party, but daren't push my luck.

It’s been a real journey, as they say on bad reality TV (is there any other sort?) On the way, I’ve been given some fantastic advice from you lot, as well as from a Real Published Author and more importantly I've learned that…

Mugs CAN live without kettles
The price of gravy changes with the wind
You can live i…

Q&A with Amanda Brittany

I'm thrilled to welcome Amanda Brittany to my blog today, to talk about her debut thriller Her Last Lie. 

It's been described as 'gripping with a shocking twist' and I can confirm that it is!

(It also has an amazing cover)

Which character in Her Last Lie would you like to meet?
Hi Karen, thank you for inviting me to your blog.
I suppose feisty Roxanne is the character I’d most like to meet. She’s so determined to get to the bottom of things, and appears to be a good friend to Isla.
There are definitely a couple of characters in the book I would hope never to meet.

I know the book has several settings, which did you enjoy writing the most?
I loved writing the second part of the book set in Abisko in Sweden. I visited Abisko a couple of years back, and it was great fun bringing the cold, bleak landscape to life, and describing the way The Northern Lights swoop across the night skies.
Are any of your characters based on people you know?
No, not at all, they all sprang from my imagi…

Guest post - Elise Chidley

Today I’m delighted to welcome author, Elise Chidley to my blog. Elise has written two wonderfully warm and witty novels, The Wrong Sort of Wife and Married with Baggage, and I absolutely loved them both. Intelligent and romantic, as well as funny, they’re peopled with characters you can’t help warming to.

Elise is giving away 2 free copies of The Wrong Sort of Wife and 2 copies of the American version, Your Roots are Showing. If you’d like to leave a comment below I’ll pick the winners at random on Sunday!

So, without further ado …

Elise, when did your writing career begin?

I’ve been writing for a living since my first job as features writer with a national women’s magazine in South Africa, but I started writing fiction after my third child was born. At that stage, I was telecommuting as a staff writer for a publisher of health care magazines, writing three feature stories a week. The pressure of these deadlines, coupled with looking after three small children, was just not sustainable. …