Monday, March 31, 2008

Grime time

When quizzed about weight-loss issues, Courtney Cox has oft-been quoted as saying that when a woman reaches a certain age, she has to make a choice - face or butt?

I had to apply a similar analogy at home today. Writing or a nice, clean house? Ok, it doesn't quite work, but I've OD'd on Cillit Bang. My brain's messed up.

The down-side of the lovely sunshine we're having is the sudden - not to mention unwelcome - highlighting of hitherto unnoticed cobwebs, grime and dust, previously hidden by winter gloom. I thought about putting my shades on and ignoring it, but that would have looked silly.

I tried sitting down and grimly typing, but it was too late. I Couldn't Relax. Instead, I donned my rubber gloves and, on the premise that I would continue to think about my story/chapter as I worked, I set-to with plenty of vim and vigour.

I'm sure somebody famous once said that "much of writing is thinking...staring into space." If they didn't they should have. It's true. The trouble is, I think they meant fixing your gaze on a distant horizon, not scowling like a demon whilst scrubbing dementedly at stubborn jam stains with a brillo pad. I don't need to tell you that coaxing grease off the hob didn't inspire me in quite the same way that a sun-drenched landscape might have.

Ah well. Four hours later, my cupboards were clean and I'd had an idea for a short story. A crime story. Involving a murder. And a feather-duster.

11 comments:

Lane said...

Death by Duster. There's a title:-)

I love the sharp new sunlight but it's showing up a sickening amount of dustballs, filthy doorhandles and plenty of other grub. The trick is to avert your eyes .... and sing loudly:-) And keep typing!!

Tom Foolery said...

Rubber gloves, feather duster! An image just entered my mind of Ken Dodd saying, "How tickled I am!" Clarkey stop farting around and get writing, otherwise will set the ghost of Pete onto you :) TommoX

HelenMH said...

Housework makes me feel like murdering someone as well! That's why I don't do it x

Faye said...

Is it possible to tickle someone to death with a feather duster--seems like it would take too long for a good short story? You may run the risk of losing your reader's interest. . .

Just the other day a couple of friends and I were discussing the Courtney Cox dilemma. Is it better to lose 20 lbs. for the butt's sake and end up with saggy chin(s) or keep the weight to plump the old cheeks--the ones that show in public?

Sarah Dunnakey said...

I'm scared by the whole Coutney Cox debate - I didn't know I had to make a choice, aaaargh I think I'm losing both to gravity. Also scared about what is going to happen with that feather duster in your story :@)

KAREN said...

lane - I did try some singing WHILE I was cleaning, but Molly started looking scared! Back to the typing today - if my aching arms will let me :o)

tommo - I certainly bore more than a passing resemblance to Ken Dodd by the time I'd finished. Not a good look. I'm writing, I'm writing okay? Don't you be conjuring up any ghostly gnomes thank you :o)

helenmh - That's a good tactic. Funny how no-one mentions the house looking nice, but quickly notice when it's not!!

faye - They'd have to be tickled to death in stages, I think!
As for the weight issue, I don't think 'gaunt' is a flattering look, so I'd plump (see what I did there) for the cheeks that DO show :o)

sarah - Yes, gravity's definitely going south, sadly :o( Hopefully with all the feather-dustering I'll at least have one toned arm?? Maybe I could work that into a story...

Yvonne said...

Karen my place looks like a bomb hit it too. Death by Duster...I like it!

Debs said...

I don't know about Courtney Cox but my bum is fat and my face is collapsing so I really don't have much to choose between.

You should be pleased with yourself, clean cupboards and a short story idea, good for you.

I just have a grubby looking house at the moment and very little going on in my head.

KAREN said...

yvonne - It's a bit like that advert here - where someone looks round and asks if you've been burgled :o)

debs - I'm surprised, with all her millions, that Courtney Cox hasn't had fat sucked out of one area and pumped into the other, quite frankly...

Leigh said...

A have a fridge magnet: A mind is a terrible thing to waste on housework... and I live by that. When I die, no one (but, no one) is going to remember me for having shiny windows and sparkling taps (not least because I don't have them), but someone might just like my writing!

That being said, I get great ideas for stories when I'm cooking!

Death by Duster LOL!

KAREN said...

leigh - I must by that fridge magnet...what a great quote! Trouble is I can't seem to relax when all around me is...clutter, dust and muck. (Sounds like a bizarre firm of solicitors).

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