Granny complex - the sequel



I've got Carrie Bradshaw Envy. After swooning over the Sex and the City film yesterday afternoon, it hit home that there's a world of difference between Carrie's writing style and mine.

For instance :-

CB - Slips between expensive looking sheets wearing tiny knickers and a silk camisole, and cuddles up to Big with a weighty looking book about famous poets, as research for her next book.

Me - Slithers under grubby duvet wearing faded jim-jams and a frown and tries to think about Chapter Seven, before getting distracted by the growing certainty that I've forgotten to buy dog food. Again.

CB - Sits at a pristine desk under glowing lamplight, lightly fingering her expensive keyboard and Musing.

Me - Stands at a crowded desk in the half-light, rummaging around in overflowing drawers for a memory stick and Swearing.

CB - Narrows her steely-gray eyes and stares out at snowy, New York skyline while she thinks about Love.

Me - Squints through sleep-sticky eyelids at the garden thinking, how can I ruddy well write when the grass has grown ten foot overnight?

CB - Reads a meaningful excerpt from her latest book to hangers-on at a lovely bookshop.

Me - Re-reads what I've just written out loud, to myself, and considers buying a shotgun.

So. Not ONLY do I have to live with my Inner Granny I have to live with the knowledge that I'm never, EVER going to be Carrie flamin' Bradshaw.

It's SO not fair
.
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Update: There's a silver lining. I think I may have nicer hands than Carrie Bradshaw.

Comments

Yvonne said…
LOL! I'm nothing like Carrie either. I can hardly get out of my bleach-splattered jammies most days.
Tam said…
If it's any consolcation, CB has gor terrible hands - they look like claws in that piccy you've posted...
TOM FOOLERY said…
Oh but Clarkey, you are so much more wittier than she is.
Chapter 7 I’m impressed :) Tommox
Lane said…
I must be in the minority as one who didn't 'get' SITC'. Maybe I'm channelling my inner granny too .

Teeny knickers and camisoles are soo over-rated anyway:-)

Chapter 7?? Way to go!
Calistro said…
*laughs out loud* That's brilliant. Love it!
Lily Sheehan said…
I LOVED that post, really made me laugh. Carrie is so not funny like you. I'd rather read your work any day then (isnt really real - please noone shoot me) Carrie Bradshaw. Although I am seeing the film on sat and cannot wait!!!
kallioppe said…
Too funny. You are a funny funny girl, even if you are in your jim jams and duvet versus silk camisole. Priceless. :)
HelenMH said…
Carrie also frequently closes her laptop without saving - I hope you don't do that ...
Anna said…
I think you are far more witty... :)))
KAREN said…
yvonne - Glad I'm not the only one!!

tam - I hadn't even noticed that - there is a God after all :o)

tommo - Why thank you ma'am :o) Yes, I'm really enjoying the writing at the moment. Long may it last.

lane - I got into it way back when it started, and remember being quite shocked that it was so rude (Inner Granny again)! Actually watching some parts of the film with Teen Daughter were quite embarrassing :(

calistro - I was looking for sympathy, damn you!! I bet you wear silky camisoles in bed don't you??

lily - I did feel a bit mixed up for a while and started to think that Carrie WAS real. Apparently in real life SJP slobs about in trackie bottoms like the rest of us, thank goodness! Hope you enjoy the filum :o)

helenmh - You're right and of course I'd NEVER do anything that silly. Oh no. Not me. No sireee. I wouldn't! Honest. Oh alright then...

anna - You're too kind! Carrie Bradshaw has a far better wardrobe though :(
Maddie Moon said…
Ah, but does Carrie have a wildly entertaining blog? I don't think so.

Sadly, I have hands like Carrie and Madonna. I don't share any other characteristics with them, though. Sigh.
KAREN said…
kallioppe - I read an article recently, in which a woman bemoaned the fact that her husband thought a peach camisole was a dessert. Maybe I'm better off in jim-jams.

maddie - If Carrie did have a blog, it would probably be Whimsical.

I think your hands could be called 'careworn' rather than claw-like though?
Debs said…
You're also a damn site (sp?) funnier than she is.

Dx
L-Plate Author said…
I agree! That was a great post, I loved it xx
Sarah*G* said…
I just never got into the Sex and the City 'thing'. SJP always seemed like she needed a good feeding to me!
KAREN said…
debs - You're too kind. I wouldn't mind her money though :o)

l-plate - I have to keep reminding myself she's not real though!

sarah *g* - She is rather whippet-like. I think they all need a good dinner to be honest!
A. Writer said…
She has got unsightly hands hasn't she?

That post made me giggle.
KAREN said…
a writer - I've noticed a lot of the magazines keep pointing it out now...poor SJP! Still love her though.
auntiegwen said…
I won't ever be Carrie either , sigh ! I bet she never caught nits.