I’ve worked in three different branches now, and it’s official. The library staff hate the New System nearly as much as the customers do. The trouble is, we’re fed-up now of fielding the same complaints day after day. Minute after minute, actually. To the point where I’ve developed an Inner Dialogue that goes something like this…
Customer 1: I couldn’t find my receipt, so I couldn’t remember when my DVDs were due back. I’m not paying the fine, it wasn’t my fault.
Me : Don’t worry, Madam. It’s a common problem at the moment. You won’t be charged this time.
Thinks…Tell you what, love. Why don’t you take all the bloody DVDs out and just don’t bother bringing them back ever, and we’ll give you a medal. Does that sound fair?
Customer 2 : I’ve written the date inside my library books even though we’re not supposed to, because I wouldn’t have remembered when to bring them back otherwise.
Me: That’s okay. It’ll be a bit confusing for the next customer though. Maybe you could write the date on your calendar in future?
Thinks… To be honest, spud-face, I couldn’t give a flying crab-cake. Do what you want with your chuffing books. Tear the pages out and make them into doilies for all I care. Just don’t speak to me ever again.
Customer 3 : I absolutely hate your new system.
Me : Well! You’re not the only one! Would you like to fill in a complaint form?
Thinks…Morning to you too, Mrs Blobby. You obviously met misery a long time ago and let it move in. And it’s not MY ruddy system…
Customer 4: What’s the point of spending money on a new system, when you haven’t got any new books in?
Me: Well, there’s a bit of a backlog at the moment, but new stock is starting to filter through!
Thinks…What’s the point of you bringing your child in here to writhe on the floor screaming until you leave? Madam. Or trying to look cross when you’ve had Botox?
Manager : So! Have you got used to the New System then?
Me : Oh! Er, yes, yes..getting there. (Smiles weakly)
Thinks... I got used to it two weeks ago. It’s still s***.
It’s only a matter of time before something Slips Out…
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