Completely off-topic, but how in the name of J-Lo does one go about navigating the troubled waters of Teenagerdom? Specifically Phase II - School-Leaver to Grown-up?
All three of mine are in a state of Flux at the moment and it's most unsettling. You get the sense things could go Either Way.
Gone are the days of dimpled smiles and colouring books, with me at the centre of their squinty little universe. Mooching, glowering and slamming doors is the norm. 'Love you Mummy,' has been replaced with 'God's sake, Mum,' and muttered 'hate you's' with occasional f-words thrown in for good measure. 'I can hear you!' I shrill, like my own mother did. Don't they know Mums have Bionic hearing as well as eyes in the back of their heads?
I was asked recently, if a nipple could be pierced. And I thought cutting off their curls was radical.
Structured days, where I knew where they were and what they were doing are a thing of the past, and I mourn them. It's all lie-ins and mysterious phone calls and unspecified meetings with previously unheard of friends. Communication is a tenuous thing, easily derailed by a refusal to ferry a car full of boys half-way round the country for no apparent reason other than 'it was Wacker's idea.'
They want money, but don't want to work for it. The possibilty of looking for a job 'when I'm ready' has been mooted. 'I deserve some time off.' Don't we all, love? Are the principles I tried to instill waiting to be called upon when they realise that cupboards don't replenish themselves by magic? I hope so.
I remember the angst of my own teenage years, so that's no comfort.
I found myself in the bathroom this morning, longing for chubby thighs (no comment please) trips to the park and bedtime stories, having a little cry.
This is unconditional love I reminded myself, as I have done so many times before, and sometimes it blimmin' well hurts.
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